Parenting styles

A Parenting style refers to the standard strategies that parents utilize to raise their children,

Four Distinct Parenting Styles:

•  Authoritative parents have rules and guidelines but they are warm and responsive to their children.  They are warm and willing to listen to questions. This is a more balanced approach in which parents expect their children to meet certain behavioral standards, but also encourage kids to be responsible and think for themselves.  They focus more on nurturing than punishing.

•  Authoritarian parents expect their orders to be obeyed without question, they might simply reply “because I said so”.  They are not responsive and with a very little room for discussion.  They like to have lots of control over their children.

•  Permissive parents are characterized by emotional warmth but reluctant to enforce rules and guidelines.  They rarely discipline their children, do require mature behavior, avoid confrontation, and they tend to be seen as lenient.

•  Uninvolved parents are not nurturing and warm.  They find it hard to engage with their children, and fail to enforce standards of conduct.  They only provide kids with food and shelter, nothing more. They are generally detached from their children.  In utmost circumstances, these type of parents may even neglect the needs of their children.

 

Why Parenting Styles Vary?

It’s not a surprise that your parenting style differences are in great factor, due to the fact that both you and your partner are likely to have different influences.

Some potential causes of these parenting differences include our culture, our socioeconomic status, educational level, personality, religion, and our family background.

Our personal parenting styles are influenced by our early family backgrounds.  So, it’s your decision which patterns to keep and new ones to create.

 

When Parenting Styles Differ

Does it really matter if your opinion just don’t match up? Does it cause friction and bring a stumbling block between you and your partner?  Do you have to change your style so you and your partner are on the same track? Or do you worry that the differences will send your child mixed messages?

If you parenting styles are very different, it can make life tough for you and your child.   They can take advantage of your differences.

Children will learn to manipulate the situation when they discover the parents argue on discipline.  But, it can be confusing potentially upsetting for them.  No child likes to see their parents argue.

Never undermine one another in front of the children, no matter how strongly you disagree.  This behavior negatively affects the family members.

When parenting styles are too far apart, parents need to talk about the situation and work out your differences.  Obviously, communication is the key.  Start with agreeing on some basic ground rules for your child.  You can also work out shared goals for your child.

It is also important that you and your partner are both accepting each other’s parenting style.  Most children have one parent who’s more strict than the other, and that’s fine- as long as you’re not simmering with resentment that you’re always the one doling out punishments while your partner is the Fun Parent.

In order to create a cohesive approach to parenting, agree to work as a team.  Accept your mistakes.  Do your best and keep moving forward.   Remember that your goal is to raise a healthy child.